


I See Your Color

by anonymouschupacabra (accordingtomyresearch)



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Alternate Universe - Soulmates, BoM Lotor, M/M, Slow Build
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-16
Updated: 2018-02-16
Packaged: 2019-03-19 07:37:32
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,992
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13699902
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/accordingtomyresearch/pseuds/anonymouschupacabra
Summary: And that’s where he saw it. The color, an aura surrounding the surrendered Galra Prince Lotor, streaming off him like light through a hazy window. It was arresting and Keith froze, unable to look away—unwilling to look away.





	I See Your Color

**Author's Note:**

> I finally buckled down and wrote a keitor fic, my favorite ship in this dumb, dumb show. I just can't believe it's a gd soulmate AU like what a cliche i am lmao

It’s a color that Keith had never seen before, and yet somehow now he saw it everywhere. It was blue and pink and purple all at the same time and it shone and glinted in the reflection of the stars in the space around them but it was soft and peaceful like a dream. It glowed and gave off a radiance that Keith could feel on his skin as he reached out his fingers to touch it and it was real, but also it was cool to the touch like the surface of a spring in the morning. He was mesmerized by it and comforted by it and taken in by it’s enchanting subtle hues and it’s delicate tones— it was his favorite color almost instantly and he couldn’t explain why. 

Keith first saw it when he pulled his commandeered ship into bay of the castleship, exhausted inside and out from the fight. It was madness, a rush of people cheering and running and hugging and crying and congratulating and mourning and yelling and talking, all around him all at once. His insides were still bound tight from the adrenaline, like a swirling mass in the pit of his stomach that was as dense as lead, siting heavy and thick and slowing him down as he forced his legs to move, the left then the right then the left again back to the right, over and over until he made it out and past the cacophony of sounds and into the relative silence of the corridor. 

And that’s where he saw it. The color, an aura surrounding the surrendered Galra Prince Lotor, streaming off him like light through a hazy window. It was arresting and Keith froze, unable to look away—unwilling to look away. He’d never seen someone  _ glow _ the way Lotor did, bound in handcuffs and being walked out of the bay and down the corridor to be interrogated. 

Shaken, afraid, but curious, Keith stood there as Lotor was walked past him. He took in this sight, this halo of this color Keith didn’t know why he could see, engulfing Lotor’s figure. And for a moment, a brief moment, their eyes met. 

There was a powerful sense of  _ knowing _ in the look that Lotor gave him. However brief it was, Keith knew in that second he saw his surprise and wonderment echoed on Lotor’s face and in that second where their eyes locked in the middle of a hallway after a terrible battle, Keith had an immense feeling of safety rush over him. In the moment that they saw each other for the first time face to face, Keith knew that he was seeing something he couldn’t explain—something no one could understand. 

As soon as Lotor turned, forced to keep moving by a few muscles working for the coalition, and their gaze was broken, the feeling was gone. But the color was still there, ebbing off Lotor’s body like rays off the sun. Keith watched Lotor be walked down the corridor and he saw like a candle in the distance, the aura of light surrounding him go dimmer and dimmer until he was out of sight and out it went. 

Almost as if he’d been holding his breath, Keith took in a gasp of air once he could no longer see Lotor. It was a foreign feeling, this sense of connection he felt. It was unlike anything he’d ever felt before. 

Keith tried to ignore it. He attended Lotor’s interrogation, forcing himself to ignore the magnificent light that encompassed him, but still he was mesmerized. He could feel Lotor trying to catch his gaze but he refused to look at him directly, terrified at seeing the same astonished expression he’d seen before. 

And when it was decided that Lotor would stay there at the castleship he was relieved. He pushed himself to leave, to return back to the Blade’s headquarters, to continue his training, to go on missions, to fight the galra, and better yet to be out of the presence of that color. The beautiful, impossible color.

It was haunting his mind, painting his dreams, filling his thoughts. All day he thought of almost nothing but that light, the color he’d never seen before and Lotor’s expression when they’d locked eyes. He tried to push it out of mind but it was insidious, taking hold and spreading to each new thought. 

So when Kolivan decided it was be best to take Lotor in and use his skills and knowledge for the betterment of the Blade of Marmora, Keith felt a divide. On one hand, he wanted to avoid Lotor forever; he’d managed to do it for a while, trying to keep himself from experiencing whatever it was that he’d felt before. But on the other he was so damn curious about it. 

The sight of Lotor had been like nothing he’d ever seen before. No one he’d ever met seemed to glow before him, radiating a color so perfect that it took over every corner of his mind. He was exhausted from fighting off sleep trying not to dream only of that color, and he was stressed from spending his days seeking it out. Keith couldn’t decide if he was too unnerved by the feeling that he never wanted to see Lotor again, or he was so enraptured by the experience that wanted so much to see him. 

None of it mattered when Kolivan told him “Lotor has proven himself trustworthy to us. The coalition thinks the best place for him is with us and I believe you should be the one to you guide him.” Being a soldier meant agreeing even when he wanted to run and Keith nodded when he wanted to scream and told Kolivan “yes sir” when he wanted to say “no, please, not me.” 

Having been weeks since not seeing him Keith had convinced himself that he’d exaggerated the impact of the event—or better yet, that he’d fabricated it all in a post battle haze. However when he saw Lotor step off the ship and onto the Blade’s homebase, he knew that it had all been real. 

Seeing him again was like a punch in the gut. The Blade of Marmora uniform that Lotor wore was tinted by the glow of this perfect, most beautiful color pouring off of him. He walked forward and Keith’s eyes were transfixed to him; he couldn’t look away even if he’d wanted to. And as Lotor approached the line of Blade officers standing at the head of the room, Keith stood off in the sidelines, looking as his light flickered as he passed in front of the other Blade soldiers Keith was trying to hide behind. 

All the emotions— the comfort, the connection, the safety— all of that came rushing back up to the surface again. Almost trance like, Keith slowly made his way to the front of the crowd, walking past other soldiers but never taking his eyes off Lotor’s glowing form, as if he even could. But by the time he’d made it to the front of the line Lotor was walking away, being escorted through the exit to his barrack. And just as Lotor made it through the archway and out of sight, the feeling ebbed from Keith as quickly as it came, leaving him hallow and cold again, but with that color fresh in his mind. 

The next time he saw Lotor a few days and a couple of sleepless nights later, the same feelings came up only this time Keith was ready for them. He walked into the training deck, head held high, blade out, ready to see what Lotor was made of. Lotor had been standing in there center of the room, looking bored like he’d waiting for a long time, and raised his gaze to Keith as they walked in. When their eyes met Keith felt the wave of emotions wash over him and the sight of this colored light enchanted him but he forced himself to have no reaction. He kept his face neutral and pushed away all the warm comforting sensations that being in the presence of this light made him feel. 

It seemed like Lotor had done the same. The both of them looked at each other head on, giving no indication of whatever they were feeling. Part of Keith was glad for this; he wasn’t sure how he would react to seeing Lotor’s look of bewilderment and fascination directed at him again. But part of Keith wished for a bit of a reaction from him—just as an indication that he wasn’t alone in his. But he got nothing. 

Things went on like this for weeks. Training day in and day out, sparring constantly, going on missions— everything done without acknowledging the elephant in the room. Keith would steady his face, never letting Lotor or anyone see that he felt different when he was around him, safer somehow. He felt like he could trust him, even though outside a few exchanged pleasantries and brief conversations about missions, they’d never really spoken. But Keith knew, deep down, that when he saw that color, that beautiful brilliant mesmerizing color, that Lotor was… good. 

And that’s the opposite of how other people treated him. Despite spending so much time and effort helping Voltron, giving them inside information of Galra plans, telling them their weaknesses, proving himself loyal to the cause of the rebellion, people still treated Lotor as an outsider. Someone not to be trusted. A burden to the cause. 

Keith tried his best to show his support of him. He partnered with him on missions, trained with him daily, ate meals with him, just to show everyone else that he shouldn’t be a pariah. Keith knew that Lotor had done enough to earn Kolivan’s trust, enough to become a member of the Blade, but it seemed like Keith was the only one who could see it. 

Although, he did wonder if he was blinded by the effects of that light. The hue of warmth that beamed off Lotor that Keith had found himself unable to forget in his mind’s eye. Though they spent most of their time together in companionable silence, Keith would sometimes indulge in a brief conversation and the sound of Lotor’s voice was like the sight of his color. It smooth and soothing and like thunder and waves all wrapped in one. 

He knew that he couldn’t always control his reactions, that Lotor must know that Keith felt something around him. But he couldn’t help it. On missions Keith would find himself looking for Lotor’s light just to make sure he was still there. At meetings he’d find himself basking in the dulcet sounds of Lotor’s voice. And sometimes when they shared a meal, separated from all the other members of the Blade, cloistered in their half galra outcast’s corner, being so close to him made Keith warm and cool all over.

But, even after months of memorising the exact shade and hue of the color that had saturated every part of his mind, Keith still felt alone. He knew that he was seeing and feeling something special with Lotor but he still didn’t know if he was the only one. When Lotor had first arrived he’d been too afraid to ask if anyone else saw the same thing that he did; that maybe, just maybe, Lotor looked that way to everyone. And now so much time had passed there’d be no way to ask now. 

And Lotor, he didn’t know if he knew. Keith assumed he must have— he hadn’t been exactly inconspicuous after all that time, and it was only logical that at some point Lotor noticed the way Keith looked and felt when being around him. He just wasn’t sure why he hadn’t said anything; perhaps out of kindness or worse, pity. Either way, Keith was becoming just lonely enough to not care. 

* * *

It was just around then when Kolivan sent him on a mission. “Very important,” he said, as he usually did, “you’ll have to be quick. You get in, you get out. If you don’t make it to the pick up ship you will be left behind. You know the drill.”

Keith did know the drill. In fact he’d circumvented it a dozen times, and he wasn’t afraid to do it again. “I understand,” he said, as he usually did. 

And just like he usually did, he was partnered with Lotor. He’d been partnered with him on dozens of missions. He wasn’t sure if it was because other’s didn’t want to work with him, with Lotor, or with both; but either way Keith prefered it this way. They worked well together, even with limited communication. 

It was a dead of night mission. Dropped off on a dark, forested planet and tasked with taking important shipping route information from main system of vital port on the Galra importing route, they skillfully entered into the sprawling complex. Undetected, they silently made their way through the buildings using stolen blueprints, navigating their way through warehouse after warehouse of weapons and ammunition, and quickly found themselves in control center of the port’s computers. 

Falling into their well established positions, Keith kept watch as Lotor worked quickly on retrieving the information they needed. It was just like any other mission: successful, quick, and highly dangerous. And just like their other missions they were done in under a minute, already heading back the way they came. 

However, unlike their other missions, something went wrong. Because on the stolen blueprints they’d been using to navigate through the port, a mislabeled corridor led them into room full of galra soldiers rather than to an empty hanger. And they took on immediate fire. 

Dodging out of the way of instant blasts from dozens of laser guns all at once, Keith and Lotor found themselves fighting on opposite sides of the room, separated and surrounded by nearly a dozen soldiers each. The sounds of clanging and clashing metal and guns filled the hanger as they fought their way through the crowd, taking down Galra soldiers absurdly easy. 

Through the fight, Keith peered through a break in the line to see Lotor handling his own, fighting back six soldiers at once. His movements were practiced and controlled taking them on easily. The aura of color surrounding him streaked behind him as he moved like firework and Keith felt himself smile. 

He held his own, fending off soldier after soldier with nothing but his blade. Having seen Lotor handling himself gave him all the confidence he needed to take them out one by one until them two were the last people standing. And he did. They did. 

Until, as Keith remembers it, everything went horribly wrong. 

The hanger they had run into that was supposed to be unused, was actually filled with  explosives. Boxes and crates of explosives. And one vengeful not nearly yet dead galra soldier took it upon himself to activate a crate, starting a chain reaction that rippled through the hanger. 

In a split second decision, Keith grabbed Lotor by the arm and ran with him as quickly as they could out of the hanger as crates exploded behind them. The walls around them buckled under the enormous pressure and force and began to crumble and fall, breaking the floor beneath them and creating large spidering cracks making it difficult to run. They broke out into a full sprint, racing the destruction of the building and herdling towards the an exit, any exit. 

Lotor’s legs were just a bit longer and he was just a bit faster and he pulled ahead of Keith just as they saw an hanger exit insight. But the integrity of the building had been compromised and just as Lotor was in front of Keith a heavy chunk of metal ceiling fell into the floor between them. Skidding to a halt, Keith tried to double back, running around the chunk only to have his way blocked by another and then another and then one more until his exit was blocked from every direction. 

He could barely hear Lotor on the other side yelling for him, telling him he was going to get him out. Now large several stories tall metal beams that lined the wall began to fall, hitting the rubled lined floor with a boom, adding to the growing pile of debris that trapped Keith. Forcing aside the panic, Keith looked for a way out, heading for the smallest piece of metal roofing to climb over, but as soon as he reached it—boom, another metal beam fell in his path and blocking his way out. 

The space around him became smaller and smaller until he only had the width of his arms stretched out in front of him to maneuver around in and five times his height of walls around him. And that’s when Keith knew, he was trapped. 

With a shaky sigh, Keith crumpled onto the floor, listening to the sounds of the falling building around him, hoping that his small little area would be spared any more debris. Even through the deafening sounds of clanging and booming falling metal, Keith could hear his name being yelled. “Just go!” he managed to call out, through a small hand sized gap in the metal trapping him. “Get out! Save yourself!” 

“I’m gonna get you out of there!” Lotor’s voice said, distant but there. 

“No just go,” Keith said, his voice thin and exhausted. “Just go,” he added more quietly. 

He heard nothing but the distant sounds of explosions and falling infrastructure. Keith found the lack of response both comforting and disheartening. He was glad Lotor was safe and got away but also the color, the beautiful perfect light he’d become so familiar with, he realized he’d never see it in front of him again. He’d never feel that impossible wash of comfort he got just by being near Lotor, or the radiant warmth the light gave off, or feel safe again. 

But Lotor got away. He was safe. He was alive. And as exhaustion took over him and Keith huddled himself in his little spot, that was the last thing he thought of as another piece of debris fell down and hit him, knocking him unconscious. 

* * *

He dreamt of the color— that was all he ever really dreamt of nowadays anyway. He dreamt that he was in a field of it, and he was feeling safe and warm like it always made it feel. And Lotor was there, only he didn’t have the same stony expression, no this time he looked at Keith the same way Keith knew he looked at him: with hopeful eyes and soft smile. And Keith felt something he hadn’t believed he could ever feel; he felt loved.

In the dream he walked over to Lotor through a tall grass, slowly as if through syrup. He could see the light start to fade as he approached, casting a glow in the color over Lotor’s features. And for the first time Keith felt himself say  _ “you’re beautiful” _ and as soon as he did he knew he meant it and he knew he’d always known it. 

Lotor smiled and reached out his hand, gently running his fingers down the side of Keith’s face.  _ “Keith,” _ he said softly, his voice like honey.  _ “Keith, are you there?” _

_ “Yeah,” _ Keith said with a nod. 

_ “Keith,” _ Lotor said again.  _ “Are you there?”  _

_ “I’m right here,” _ Keith responded. He tried to take a step closer, but he couldn’t move. The color, his favorite sight in the universe, began to fade. He was confused and suddenly the feeling of being safe was melting away.  _ “I’m right here, can’t you see me?”  _

_ “Keith, I see you, I’m coming,”  _ Lotor said his hand falling from Keith’s face. 

_ “I’m right here,”  _ he said again weakly. 

_ “Keith.”  _

_ “Keith.”  _

“Keith.” 

His eyes fluttered open and he instantly regretted it. Pain coursed through his body with no end or beginning. Dust floated through the air and into his lungs with each labored breath he took in. For a few moments he couldn’t remember where he was or how he’d gotten there. 

“Keith.” 

He lifted his head as much as he could and he saw through a small gap in the rubble, Lotor’s face. He was glowing, as he always was, but Keith had never seen it look this beautiful. There was worry etched onto every part of his face. 

“Wh...what are you doing here?” Keith said, each word more difficult than the last. 

He saw Lotor let out a heavy exhale before answering. “I found an escape pod, I’m gonna get you out of there. Just… can you move? Are you hurt?” 

Still feeling disoriented, Keith cast a cursory glance around himself. He was pinned underneath a metal beam, his leg trapped under the weight of it. With little hope he tried to move it but he couldn’t without incredible pain. “I can’t move. I… I think my leg is broken. It’s—it’s trapped.” He heard Lotor swear under his breath and then fall into a long silence. “Are you still there?” 

“Yeah I’m right here,” Lotor said quietly. “I’m just… thinking about how to get you out of there.” 

Keith looked down at his leg again. The metal beam wasn’t resting completely on him but it was just enough to prevent him from moving. It would be near impossible to lift it off him by himself and even if Lotor tried he couldn’t be sure if that wouldn’t hurt Keith further. There was only one decision that seemed obvious. “I don’t think you can,” he breathed out. Dread settled deep in his chest as the metallic taste of frustration filled is mouth. “Just… just leave me here.” 

“I’m not gonna do that,” Lotor said sounding serious. 

Keith sighed, closing his eyes. “Look, there’s no way you’re gonna be able to get me out of here. I’m trapped.” He paused, steadying himself. “You know the drill, if you don’t make the pick up ship you’ll be left behind. There’s no reason for both of us to miss it. You should just go.” He could hear Lotor breathing heavily. “Besides, even if you get me out, my leg is still broken. I’m only gonna slow you down.” 

“Just… shut—shut up ok,” Lotor said. Keith could hear the panic tainting his voice. “I’m gonna look for something to lift that beam up with.” 

Keith didn’t have anymore fight left in him and he just gave in, listening to the shuffling and scraping sounds of Lotor working to free him from the other side of the pile of rubble he was trapped under. He wasn’t sure how long they were there for; kept dipping in and out of consciousness. Each time he awoke the rubble around him just a little bit more clearer until Lotor had managed to cut out a path to him through the broken pieces of the hanger. 

“Ok,” Lotor said out of breath, dropping to his knees next to Keith. His hands hovered over the length of Keith’s body as if he was afraid to touch him. For the first time Keith saw true emotions on Lotor’s face up close, and covered in his light, he was hypnotized. “Is anywhere else broken?” 

Carefully, Keith tried moving other parts and checking over his body to make sure he was ok. He had a few cuts and bruises but other than his leg he seemed to be ok. “No, I’m ok.” 

Lotor nodded silently to himself, eyeing the beam that was pinning Keith’s leg. “Ok… I’m… I’m gonna lift this and you have to try to move yourself backwards. Can you do that?” 

“Yeah,” Keith swallowed. 

“Right,” Lotor breathed. Stepping over Keith and avoiding touching him, he positioned himself to grab onto the beam with his arms. “Ok, now!” Mustering all the strength he had, Lotor struggled to lift the beam for a few moments before finally managing to lift it just off of Keith’s leg. 

Once it was lifted the pain was immeasurable, worse than it had been before. Fighting through it, Keith bit down on his lip, raised himself up on his elbows, and dragged himself backwards, pulling his leg out from under the beam. Once he was out of the way, he dropped to the floor and Lotor let go of the beam with a heavy thud. 

But now, without the beam in place, Keith could see how badly broken his leg truly was. Tears formed and streamed down his face as he bent forward and gently touched at his broken skin and mangled leg. He let out a strangled cry as he tried to pluck out the stray piece of metal and debris from his wound. 

“Hey hey hey, it’s ok, it’s ok,” Lotor said rushing to his side. “Ok I got you, don’t worry.” He placed his arms underneath Keith’s back and behind his knees, and as carefully as he could, lifted him off the ground. With tears streaming down his face, Keith cried out in pain, twisting in Lotor’s arms and digging his nails into his armor. “I know I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.” 

Keith couldn't form words, the pain was indescribable and all consuming. Time and distance became impossible to gauge as Lotor carried him. He had no idea where or for how long they walked but with each step the pain in his leg throbbed, threatening to force his eyes closed and his mind unconscious. His fingers dug into Lotor’ shoulders, gripping on tightly. And long after his tears had dried in streaks on his face, Keith took a small comfort in the light and warmth of Lotor so close to him. 

He hadn't expected being this close to Lotor to have such an effect on him, but he basked in it. The light was but a soft glow at this distance, not blinding but soothing and warm. And despite the incredible pain he was in, Keith still appreciated his fortune of felling the light against the skin of his cheek. 

Keith wasn't sure when he had passed out, but he woke up later tumbling out of a cryogenic pod, steam bursting out of the sides around him. He stumbled a few feet before he felt himself steadied by two large strong hands holding him on either bicep. Blinking, Keith looked up to see the blurry image of Lotor before him, his soft glow a pleasant transition from darkness to light. As his face swam into focus with each passing second, Keith could see concern etched onto every corner. 

It took him a few moments to realize where he was— the medic bay of the castleship was not where he’d expected to awake but it was not an unpleasant sight. If anything it was comforting.  

Still weak, Keith felt himself slip, his strength faltering in his newly healed legs and he began to drop to the floor. Immediately Lotor held him up, supporting him in an embrace, lifting his arm and placing it over his neck and holding him up. Grateful for the help, Keith tiredly let Lotor lead him out of the medic bay and towards his old room, the walk an easy and familiar one even in his current state. 

Where everyone else was Keith had no idea and he was too tired and weak to wonder. In a well worn and comfortable silence they made their way through the castleship and into Keith’s old room. The doors slid open at their approach and shut with a quiet swish behind them as they entered. 

Lotor carefully helped Keith onto the bed, his fingers lingering on the edges of his arms. There was no motion from either of them that they were going to seperate for the night. Keith slowly worked himself out of the cryogenic healing suit that stuck to him like a second skin, peeling it off until he was laying back in nothing but the briefs he’d been left in. 

Keith’s eyes slide closed, heavy with the weight of what had happened and the exhaustion of being healed. Sleep came to him quickly but not before he could reach out a hand and grasp Lotor’s fleeting fingers and whisper for him to stay. He didn’t know if Lotor had heard or even wanted to honor his request for a long silent moment until just as the pull of sleep took him under, he felt the bed next to him dip and a soft, warm pressure press against the length of his body. And Keith fell asleep quickly, dreaming of lilac skin and gentle touches. 

* * *

The change came like a tempest; swift and monutenous.

They left the castleship when they awoke, thanking the paladins for the shelter and the use of the medical equipment to which they were told they were always welcome. That was a pleasant sentiment. 

The trip back to the Blade’s headquarters was quiet, uneventful, boring even. They flew in silence, sitting side by side in a spare pod lent to them for their journey. There was no talk of their night spent in each other’s embrace, no mention of waking with their faces turned to each other with their hands draped delicately on each other’s bodies. But there was no feeling of not being able to talk about it— but that they didn’t need to. 

Kolivan greeted them with his usual gruff and stoic tone, surprised that they’d made it out alive from a failed mission informing them that they were to return to their duties as soon as possible. The lack of fanfare was actually welcome for Keith; he couldn’t stand the attention. And even as he looked at Lotor, who’d changed so much since his joining, he could tell that even he was glad to just have a quiet return to their normal. 

But things were not returned to normal. Not exactly. 

Their days were spent as they always had before, partnered for missions and trainings, working together and eating together and spending all their time together. To the unsuspecting eye they were exactly the same as before. 

However the change came at night. When the members of the Blade of Marmora would return to their own rooms for the night, Keith and Lotor found themselves not separating. Often Lotor would follow Keith back to his small room, sometimes Keith following Lotor to his, only to spend the night locked in a warm embrace until morning. 

They weren’t sure if they were breaking any rules but they didn’t really care. The comfort from the intimacy was too great a reward that any punishment could warn against. Tender caresses from fingertips on cheeks and soft skin on skin from bare chests pressed together. And the warmth of the glow, dimmed to a faint hue at this distance, a constant wash of comfort. They felt safe and secure and, somehow, happy. 

Things went on like this for a long while, longer than either of them expected. Weeks of nights spent sharing their beds with one another, luxuriating in the newfound peace they carved out of their tenuous situation. Quiet nights with soft mornings before the return to their duties. 

“How did you know where to look?” Keith asked one night, his voice just above a whisper. He hadn’t been able to sleep and had been awake for a while. Lotor’s soft shallow breathing brushed against the crook of his neck where his face was pressed into. “When I was trapped, how did you know where to look?” 

There was a few moments of silence where Keith thought that Lotor might had been completely asleep before he heard him answer. “Because I could see your light.” 

Keith’s whole body froze. It was the answer he hoped for and also was most frightened to hear. This meant that it was a real, this thing shared between them, it meant something. All his worries— that Lotor pitied him, that Lotor had no idea what Keith was going through, that it was all in his head— surfaced in an instant, quickly debunked by one six word sentence. 

Lotor must have felt Keith’s reaction because he raised his head from where he’d had it tucked into Keith’s neck, his face pulled into a look of concern highlighted by the dim glow of the beautiful color that Keith had come to associate with warmth and happiness. “Do you not see it?” His voice was dripping with hesitation that was echoed in his eyes. 

Words gathered in Keith’s throat but no sounds came out. His eyes found Lotor’s, trying to communicate what he couldn’t find the words to say. 

He watched Lotor’s eyes dip down to mouth and he instinctively licked his lips as his own eyes traveled down to Lotor’s mouth. There was a slow, hesitant movement from both of them until their lips just barely touched. 

The feeling was like nothing Keith had ever experienced before. The contact sent hot and cold shivers down his body, filling him with sense of comfort and love that he’d never felt before. Instantly he wanted more, moving his lips against Lotor’s and pulling kisses from his mouth with a desperation that made Keith’s hands tremble as they gently grasped onto the side of Lotor’s face. 

Melting against him, Lotor responded with the same amount of need that Keith felt. He moved against him, running his fingers through Keith’s soft hair, thumbing a lock as his tongue licked at the seam of Keith’s lips. Keith let in him eagerly, pulling himself impossibly closer to Lotor, lining their bodies up against each other as close as they could get. With each kiss he felt even more filled with tenderness and caring and desire and love, and he couldn’t get enough. 

After a few moments, Lotor pulled back with a shaky exhale, pressing the side of his nose to Keith’s as they both caught their breaths. Their hands held each other like they were afraid that they were about to disappear. And the color was brighter than ever. It was all around them both now, gleaming beautiful and warm between them, encasing them in a soft glow. 

“What… what does this mean?” Keith whispered, his lips brushing against Lotor’s cheek as he spoke. “This color, this—this light. What does it mean?” 

Lotor seemed to take a long breath before lifting his head back, gazing down at Keith below him with a look of surrender. “It’s… rare…” He seemed to doubt himself as the words started to tumble out of his mouth, as if he couldn’t believe it as he said it. “There’s a myth, a Galra myth, that two souls that are bound together could see each other better than anyone else. That they can see their counterpart shining in a beautiful colored light.” 

“Soulmates,” Keith whispered, he too also not believing it as he said it.

Lotor gave him a small nod. A hot tear dropped from his eyes and onto Keith’s cheek. “I didn’t think it was real. I thought… I thought it was a myth.” Another tear dropped. “But I see you,” he added in a whisper barely audible even at this distance. 

“I see you,” Keith whispered back. “I always saw you.” 

* * *

It all began to make sense: the color, the light, the feelings, everything. Their mutual acceptance of the gravity of their realizations led to an acceptance of each other. For the first time they finally let themselves bask in the impossible nature of their meeting and enjoy the feelings that came with it.

The walls that Keith had so carefully constructed around himself were lovingly taken down with each passing day. Lotor was nothing but equally awed by their circumstances, taking care to cherish every moment together. They both dived deep into the vast ocean of love and security that came with knowing the object of your affections was destined for you and those feelings returned tenfold. 

Even through dangerous and life threatening missions where death was often missed by a hair, that safety was never lost. Keith knew that he trusted Lotor with every fiber of his being and that Lotor felt the same for him. And that feeling, the knowledge of being so certain of support was something neither of them had ever experienced before. And it was intoxicating. 

Once they came together in every possible way there was no hiding it in the shadows any longer. The radiant joy and love that ebbed off of them was palpable to the other members of the Blade. Small glances, lingers touches, soft words— all of which spoke to a deeper relationship that could not be sequestered to the off hours where they would spend their time together, exploring what it meant to be connected through the mysteries of the universe. 

The strength and surety of their connection was as clear as day to anyone who saw it. Others began to take notice, leading to them questioning whether or not their relationship was even allowed to happen. A fear that was stoked in Keith by the way that Kolivan pulled him aside with a stern look. 

“This sort of thing isn’t allowed,” Kolivan said with a serious tone. “It’s distracting. It could lead to mistakes on missions. It’s a liability.”

Keith didn’t intend not to fight back. “With all due respect sir, I promise it’s not.” 

“You don’t know that,” Kolivan said, shaking his head at him. “You're blinded by your emotions and you can’t think about this clearly. If you could you’d see that this will only lead to pain.” Keith bit his tongue, not wanting to yell at his superior but not sure how to disagree tactfully. “Things like this have happened before. People think they are in control but they aren’t—emotions are more powerful than we can ever realize, and to think you can always control yours is a folly.” 

“Things like this hasn’t happened before,” Keith said quietly, defiantly. “This is different. What he and I have. It’s rare.”

“I know you think it is but it always ends the same,” Kolivan respondes. “People come together and then fall apart. Nothing lasts here. It can’t.” 

The words came out before Keith could think about what he was saying. “Lotor and I are bound together, as soulmates. We can see each other’s light. It’s different than most.” He felt ridiculous saying it out loud, but the words rung true in his ears. 

The look on Kolivan’s face was pure bewilderment. It latest for a few moments before he pulled back his shock and steadied his expression. “If that’s true then… then I suppose there’s nothing I can say to affect this.” Keith shook his head. “Very well. So be it.” 

Keith thanked him quietly and turned to the door, silently exhaling in relief. 

But Kolivan’s voice caught him just before he left. “But remember: guaranteed love isn’t guaranteed happiness. Be careful.” 

* * *

Those words stuck in Keith’s mind, coloring each of his interactions with Lotor. He first tried to push it out of his mind, telling himself that happiness is what he makes of it. That he was happy basking in the warm glow of Lotor’s light, feeling secure in the knowledge of their shared feelings for each other.

And he was happy. He was in love and it was every bit as fulfilling as he’d ever let himself hope it would be. Their shared moments amidst the chaos of war gave him a perspective of the possibilities for afterward that he never had ever let himself hope for. A vision of peace, kindness, and love. A future where he had someone by his side who was just as devoted to him as he was to them. Even in the here and now Keith felt happy knowing that their love was real and well earned.

Lotor also seemed to share this sentiment, though like Keith, he didn’t voice it often. But it was implied in the small things. The way he unconsciously always made sure they had some physical contact, whether it be a small touch of their hands or the pressure of their thighs next to one another. The way Lotor looked at him when Keith caught his eye, soft and open. How he whispered to him when they were alone, wrapped in each other and lost in their own world, thinking aloud about nothing and everything all at once. 

And the light, once a confusing and impossible thing, now was a special but regular sight for them. It’s color hadn’t dimmed but grew richer with the development in their relationship. The emotions that before felt thrusted upon them were now a well lived in reality. It was a quiet love, not full of grand gestures and dramatic professions of love, but it was still happy nonetheless. Happiness came to them in waves but it never fully left. It was always there, holding them up and supporting them even when things were dark and they were doubtful. 

* * *

Until, as it would happen, it wasn’t there.

The end of the war came not with a bang with a dragging scream. It wasn’t the grand climatic victorious scene everyone had thought it would be. It was a slow, painful process that only after a long while of brutal fighting, and near deaths, and actual deaths, and hopelessness, and sorrow, and desperation, did anyone begin to see the glimmer at the end of a very long and dark tunnel. 

It’s end brought a myriad of unseen complications that caught Keith by surprise. From relocating refugees and establishing peace and restoring order, to dealing with the hundreds of thousands of Galra fighters who now find themselves in the predicament of  _ what now? _ Keith felt that as a member of the Blade of Marmora he was obligated to help in the restoration of peace within the Universe, help show that there was hope for Galra-kind and that there was optimism for their existence and the future of those who were victims of war. 

But Lotor didn’t agree. He couldn’t see himself helping to restore peace—he couldn’t believe anyone would let him. The people of the previously Galra ruled universe saw him as nothing more than Zarkon’s remains, a physical embodiment of the horror’s legacy in the universe. That regardless to whether or not he fought for peace and believed in it, and no matter how desperately he wanted a hand in establishing peace, he wouldn’t be allowed to have it. His mistakes and the mistakes of his family, were ones that he would spend lifetimes paying for. 

Keith disagreed. He insisted that people would much rather see him standing at the forefront, leading the change than hiding in shadows paying for mistakes that had long been forgiven. That Lotor had every right to peace and happiness as anyone else. And that he wanted to be there by his side when he found it. 

“I’m not going to ever have it,” Lotor said quietly, his voice stony and resigned. His eyes were cast to the floor of their shared room, avoiding Keith’s gaze from the bed. “And you’ll never have it if I’m with you.” 

It was an argument they’d had already a dozen times. Lotor had danced around the subject so many times, but he’d never said it so definitively like that before. Keith was shaken to his core. 

“What are you saying?” It was a desperate, cheap attempt. Keith knew exactly what Lotor was saying. He’d almost said it so many times. But if Lotor was going to send him away then he needed to say it. 

Lotor’s eyes lifted from the floor meeting Keith’s across the room in a pleading gaze. “You know what I’m saying.” 

Emotion gathered at the back of Keith’s throat, choking him. “I don’t understand.” 

“Keith,” Lotor said with a small exhale. Keith hated when Lotor said his name like that, so defeated. “There are casualties of war. This is just one of them. I always knew I wasn’t… going to benefit from its end.” 

“That’s bullshit” Keith said, growing angry. “You deserve this as much as anyone else. You fought—you risked your life so many times, and now you just want to shrink into the background? I don’t understand.” 

Lotor shrugged, an affectation he’d picked up from Keith, but seeing it now only made Keith grow more frustrated. “I don’t expect you to understand. I just need you to respect my decision.” 

Keith was crying before he could stop himself. “So where will you go? If I’m out helping establish peace for god knows how long, where will you go?” 

“I don’t know,” Lotor said quietly. 

“Will I ever see you again?” 

“I don’t know.” 

“Do you even want to see me again?” The words tumbled out of Keith’s mouth and each letter tasted bitter on his tongue. 

Lotor looked at him as if he asked something impossible. “Of course I do,” he breathed. “More than anything.” 

“I don’t believe you,” Keith whispered, his hands digging into the blanket beneath him. “Does this… our bond… does it mean anything to you?” Keith hated how he sounded, weak and small, at Lotor’s mercy even now after all they’d been through. And he hated that he doubted Lotor even though their bond pulled at him to believe him. And how Lotor was still cast in his perfect light, glowing warm and brilliantly. He was so beautiful when he made Keith feel so much pain.  

“It means everything,” Lotor said crossing the room in a few long strides and sitting next to Keith on their bed. He held out a hesitant hand and placed it over Keith’s on the bed. The touch sent a warm comforting sensation up Keith’s arm that felt false next to the betrayal in his heart.  “You mean… everything.” 

Keith gave in, turning his palm up so they could interlock their fingers. The touch was solid, comforting. “Then why?” Keith asked weakly. “Why do this? Why leave everything you fought for behind?... Why leave me behind?” 

The last question seemed to push through Lotor’s guard and puncture his heart. “Come with me,” Lotor said in a rush. “Let the universe sort out itself— we’ve done enough. Come with me.” 

“Lotor— we… we can’t,” Keith said. “We can’t just leave. We have to help.. Have to… have to do whatever we can.” 

“Why?” Lotor breathed. “Why do we have to? When does it end? When is enough? When do you get to be happy?” 

There was a pause. “I thought I was happy,” Keith said quietly. 

A sagging sigh escaped Lotor’s mouth. “Of course… I’m sorry I didn’t mean it like that I only meant… you do so much. You give so much. I just don’t want you spend your life working to make others happy and sacrificing your own happiness.” 

Words gathered in Keith’s mouth and for the first time he was scared to say them to Lotor. “You’re my happiness,” he breathed. He watched as the impact of his words spread on Lotor’s face. The heart wrenching mix of hurt and love mixed his expression as he hung his head.

“You’re my happiness too,” Lotor said softly, leaning his forehead against Keith’s shoulder. 

“Then why do you think you won’t have it?” Keith asked. “Why would you try run away from it?” 

“I’m not running away from you, I’m excusing myself from having to justify my happiness to everyone who still wants me dead,” Lotor said into his shoulder. “And I can’t put you through that. I just… I just can’t.” He took a shaky breath, his fingers tightening in Keith’s grasp before he spoke again, this time at barely above a whisper. “I love you.” 

It was something that had always been implied but never said between them. What could words say that the ties of bound soulmates wouldn’t intrinsically already know? But hearing them aloud, those words that always hung in the air around them but never crossed their lips, it was like the final puzzle piece shifting into place. 

“I love you too,” Keith whispered back, lifting his face to nose at Lotor’s cheek. “And whatever you need to do… where ever you need to go… I’m going with you.” 

Lotor lifted his head, surprise painted across his features. His eyes searched Keith’s, looking for a hint of anything but absolute truth and finding only that. “You will?” he breathed. 

Keith nodded. “I’ve given so much of my life to helping the universe… I think I can now give the rest of my life to you.” 

* * *

Goodbyes for them were… simple.

Kolivan seemed unsurprised by their decision, and if anything was very supportive. He understood what giving up your life for a cause cost and he was pleased to see they’d found a new cause to dedicate their life to; each other. 

The rest of their fellow members were more of a cursory goodbye, a fleeting wave or nod as they packed the pod Kolivan gave them. They had few possessions and little desire to bring a lot. It was under a day before they were flying out of the Blade’s headquarters for the last time.  

They made a stop at the castleship, to give a proper goodbye to their friends. To which they were surprised two fold; first by their leaving, and second by their relationship. It seemed that they never really remembered to inform their friends about their change in relationship. 

Their goodbye was more heartfelt, more sincere. The paladins pleaded with them to stay in touch, not to disappear. And Keith and Lotor made promises to them, both knowing it was entirely possible they would forget but were touched by the sentiment nonetheless. 

After a day of last meals together and final goodbyes for a good long while, Keith and Lotor packed themselves back into their pod and headed out into the universe for somewhere just out of reach.

* * *

 

They found themselves on a far out galaxy in a minor solar system, on a small inhabited desert planet. The red rocks and spiny plant life reminded Keith of his home back in Arizona on Earth. He’d briefly considers taking Lotor there, but quickly changed his mind; they wanted something to start fresh and there were too many painful memories still haunting there. 

The natives welcomed them gladly, taking them to the most beautiful stretches of ruby rock canyons with miles of flat rose colored desert around them. Perched high on a cliff overlooking the winding cavernous canyon, they stood hand in hand surveying the space they’d make their new home. There, just a short way from the nearest town, they set out to build their home. 

Though neither of them had done much carpentry work before, they found they were both rather suited for it. Spending their nights in the pod, they arose early every morning and set to work on building the frame of their new home, which came together rather quickly in a matter of a few weeks. Between trips into the town to get more supplies and food, they made their house within the first three months. 

Living was sparse at first. A constant work in progress, their home seemed to be constantly unfinished. Days were spent hammering and sawing and nailing and building and fixing and designing and redesigning, working and cooking and living under the hot desert sun. But as soon as the sun set, they settled in for the night, done with work for the day, content to spend the remainder of the night in each other’s arms, warm together in the cool desert night. 

It took a long while but eventually they found themselves out of things to improve and their home finally completed. It was nothing fancy, just enough rooms to live in and a place to rest their head at night. But it was theirs. Out there, on the top of the crimson canyon, they made their home. 

“You were right you know,” Keith sighed softly one cool night. 

The wind meandered through the canyon, creating a rush like water in a stream. They were laying together, Keith leaning back against Lotor who held him loosely against his chest. Keith tilted his head upwards, looking at Lotor’s sharp profile upside down. Even from this position he was ethereally beautiful, his smooth violet skin offset by the constant colored light glowing from him. 

Lotor turned his head down to look at Keith. He had a tender smile on his face as he spoke. “I’m always right, but about what specifically?” 

“This,” Keith said. “Coming out here. Leaving. You were right about all of it.” 

His smile grew, gently but amused. “Does this mean you’re happy?” 

Keith smiled softly back, arching up his back and pressing a kiss to Lotor’s jaw. “Yes,” he whispered into his skin. 

Lotor moved his hand to cup Keith’s cheek, holding him in place as he tilted his head further down the bring their lips together. They’d shared hundreds of kisses and yet it never lost its spark. That moment when their lips touched and the soul bond between them connected, sending waves of warmth though their bodies. It was overwhelming each time. 

And Keith felt that wave again and again as Lotor pulled him apart, covering every inch of his body in small declarations of love and commitment, whispering against Keith’s skin as cries fell from his lips. He felt complete and whole in ways he never dreamed he would. Lotor and him were bound, eternally, their souls meant for each other in such a pure and rare way that they could hardly believe it sometimes. 

But in moments like this, passionate love filled moments where their worlds began and ended with one another, they couldn’t imagine things being any different. 

  
  



End file.
